Well let me say that Ted Cruz doesn’t give his weekly tithings and Trump doesn’t show compassion or love to his neighbors down in the South. Almost all of the Republican candidates are fake believers of Christ. Or that’s just what I see so far but I mainly watch MSNBC and CNN news so what else do I really know?
They often mention that Cruz is garnering evangelical voters so I’m deeply conflicted. On TV, I see Cruz spreading the word of God and saying how we should use our God given talents. On the Internet, I see a money thirsty vampire hogging millions of dollar. So who do I vote for?
Let’s look at Ben Carson. He seems like a nice guy in general. Whenever he speaks, he’s soft spoken and he just sounds so intelligent. Also, he told the press that when he was 14, he locked himself in the restroom and read the book of Proverbs in the Bible. If you ask me, that’s some serious commitment and I’m proud of his spirituality.
There’s one more guy other than Rubio. I think his name is Kasich and I know for sure that he’s against same sex marriage. Other than that, I think he’s a nice guy in general.
As a Christian, it’s so hard trying to choose a Republican candidate. It’s not like I can just vote for Hillary. In fact, I dislike Hillary for no good reason. So as a believer of God, I will put my trust in him and for all the presidential elections to come.
(Thank you for reading this satirical short. I’m a Christian myself and I just had to write something about the evangelical voters in America. It’s so funny and sad at the same time seeing evangelicals vote for Ted Cruz. In some extreme cases, they’re even voting for Trump. It’s a sad day in America when people are voting against their interests but it happens all the time.)